Evidently when a blogger is absent from his keyboard too long, a ghostwriter is obligated to step in and carry the baton for a lap or two until the star can return to his pulpit.  In this particular case, your usual author has undergone a single valve arteriobotomy.

This is a very technical procedure requiring countless hours studying textbooks, learning procedures, and practicing on others.  The process undoubtedly results in hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loan debt for the fine physicians to whom we owe a great deal of gratitude.  It’s unfortunate that they have to chip away at that debt for decades before being able to afford their BMWs, but nonetheless we are thankful.

This procedure was intended to be the evolution of open heart surgery and was to be carried out by a robot.  Not a real robot like in the movies, but it was to be done robotically.  I suppose that means that the surgeons use robotic arms and pincers to somehow get the job done.

May I digress please…

Perhaps my dad owes his son an apology for ever criticizing his time in front of the TV playing video games when he was younger.  Even though he was probably trying to shoot a goblin or fly an airplane, he was supporting an industry that today helps save lives!

The video game industry generates around $70 billion annually in consumer video game sales, not to mention the additional resale market revenues from second hand shops and trade-ins.  The US market share is about one third weighing in around $19 billion in annual sales.  Not bad if you ask me.

May I regress, thank you…

Well as it turns out, the robotic equipment made by Atari either isn’t as slick as the manufacturer’s brochure said, or else the video game trained surgeons weren’t up to the challenge.  My years of medical training are somewhat limited to say the least, but I can say that I don’t think the instructions found in the robot box were the correct ones (please see exhibit “A” below).

Though they do provide a guide for equipment operation, they don’t seem to explain how to operate the proper piece of equipment.

Regardless, the experienced surgeons spent a couple hours rooting around his heart valves with their expensive machine, before finally puting their joysticks down and getting to work.  After a few extra hours on the table, they closed him up with some rearranged parts and an updated warranty on life.  They offer no guarantees, but a warranty on the parts and service will suffice for now.

You will be happy to know that he is recuperating well and making great strides each day.  In another week or so he will be back in his chair with fingers on the keyboard sharing all the trials and tribulations of the past few weeks.

However until then, the pulpit is mine and that brings me to a final chapter on a topic very dear to my dad…baseball.

When he asked me to step up and write a blog entry to keep his readers informed and engaged, I welcomed the chance to be his Pinch Hitter.  A pinch hitter, as you know, is one batter substituted for another typically when the first batter is injured.  A manager may substitute another player to bat only if that other player has not yet entered the game.  Luckily I had not yet written a blog entry for my dad before and so was eligible.  Lets hope that he has a full and speedy recovery, and that we don’t have to bend any rules for future blog posts!

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, during my stay in Florida I saw Alvin the Alligator circling the pond on a daily basis.  He likes to hang around the aeration bubbles and keep an eye on things.  I didn’t see him sunning himself on the shore as I have in the past, but then again it has been a little chilly.  I wasn’t sunning myself either so I guess we’re even.