The Python Hunt Is Over: It’s Time For Reflections???
The total number of registrants was 1,563 and they ponied up $39,075.00 in registration fees to bag a grand total of 68 pythons. They came from 38 states, Washington D.C. and two Canadian provinces to walk levees, tromp sawgrass and wade in water.
The first real news of a happening occurred just a few days before the contest closed, the Thursday prior to Sunday the 10th. Two guys in their 20’s from Tennessee got dehydrated, disoriented, overheated and well, lost, and had to call for help. They were airlifted about 15 miles to civilization, treated on the spot and released; no names given. The boys had been sleeping in their car, but it is not known whether it was rented or driven down from hillbilly country.
May I digress please? Thank you!
Now, in this day and age with cars, airplanes, AAA roadmaps, and GPS, you would think it would be hard to get lost in or near civilization. Two famous men from Tennessee, Sam Houston who was born in Virginia but became Governor of TN, and Davy Crockett, a former TN U.S. Congressman, both found their way to San Antonio, TX with none of the aforementioned luxuries of today. The sad part is that Davy, a volunteer, died at ‘The Alamo’. I had speculated in an earlier edition the he had been eaten by an alligator, since a coonskin hat with tail, a leather shirt with fringe and a pair of Ugg® boots had been discovered during a stombotomy on a pestiferous gator. Forgive me, that was not Davy. That was Dan’l Boone. So sorry for the confusion. Sam, then a Texas Army Commander, was nearby but not at the Alamo on the fateful day. So he survived to fight again and got a big city named after him.
May I digress further please? Thank you!
An infamous sort from Tennessee who recently sold his TV station to Muslim questionables is said to not be able to find his buttocks with both hands, and his is an ample buttocks. Hey Roy Roseville, buttocks is also referred to as behind, bottom, bum, butt, caboose, can, derrière, fanny, junk-in-the-trunk, patootie, posterior, rear, rump, seat, tail, or tush. I hope I got all the good ones, anyway. Is that helpful? I believe Al Gore was once asked by an expert to find his buttocks. The expert dug a small hole with a small shovel by Al’s left foot and said that’s a hole in the ground. He then dug a small hole by the right foot and said that’s your buttocks. Then he turned two full circles, said hocus pocus and asked AL, where’s your ass? Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone with vulgarity, but that’s what he asked him. Al, figuring he was being duped, pointed to the left foot. Need I say anything more? Modern day Tennesseans aren’t as versatile and knowledgeable as the pioneers that preceded them. That is why the two boys got lost.
May I regress please? Thank you!
I saw a published accounting of one registered hunter walking along a levee with a live chicken on a leash.
May I digress please? Thank you!
He was lucky that one of Alvin’s kin didn’t get a whiff of the fowl or he might have had to jump on a gator instead of a python. The article did not say whether the chicken was a hen or a rooster. If a rooster, it could have been a survivor of a Filipino ‘Cock’ fight and was expendable. No offense Ray Rocklin. You know what I’m talking about! Don’t you?
I have searched high and low for the photo without success. The picture below is actually a substitute for the real thing. If it shows up down the road, I will pass it along. Sorry!
May I regress please? Thank you!
Another accounting described a guy riding a bicycle along a levee with a lacrosse goal mounted on the front. I am assuming he was an amateur hunter. Seems like the chicken and bicycle were pretty much restricted to levees and not adaptable to water or sawgrass habitat.
You remember Justin Matthews don’t you. He is the convict with the trained Harris hawk. Well it seems that Justin came up with a big goose egg for the hunt. The hawk needed a tree to land in for the search but there were none available in the areas of the Everglades where hunting was allowed. I thought the bird was going to spot pythons by flying around over the area like our drones do over Afghanistan spotting terrorists to squeal on or bomb. Guess not!!! As a result, Justin had to endure the elements like everyone else with no advantage.
May I digress please? Thank you!
It seems the contest started like a hurricane with mucho potency. As time went by and not many snakes were killed, the horde of hunters became disenchanted. There were rumors, but no published accounts, of drunkenness and yahoos killing non-authorized animals with their weapons. So the challenge that came in like a hurricane went out with the voracity of a hot summer day’s whirlwind in Southern Arizona. The FWC swears the event was a tremendous success. More people in Florida and world are now aware of the problem than ever before. Even though the numbers killed were small and will have little or no effect on the breeding population in the ‘Glades’, there are 68 fewer bodies slithering around down there. The impact on the environment will be about as potent as a ‘popcorn fart’ in the Southern Arizona whirlwind. Sorry again for the vulgarity. Hopefully much will be gleaned from the scientist’s investigations.
May I digress further please? Thank you!
They say the pythons have totally eliminated the rabbit population in the parks. Hey Joanna and Dennis Denver and Ro and Andy Denver; heads up. They happen to be shirttail relatives of mine, in-laws not out-laws, and very much revered by the way. The ladies are the Wife’s sisters and the gentlemen are their husbands. Sorry for dragging this out but it is all relevant! Heh, heh! Joanna and Dennis are snowbirds from Denver who own a home in the Lakewood Ranch, FL suburb of University Park. They spend about half of the year in each place. Ro and Andy are not old enough to be snowbirds yet and stick it out in Denver year round. Rabbits started this all! Right?
The old airport in Denver, Stapleton Field I think, was located in the populated city area. The powers to be decided a few years ago to build a new airport about 75 miles from where anyone lived; out where the wild animals roamed. Do you remember the fiasco surrounding the installation of the luggage eating distribution system they selected? Recently, but I don’t know what to call a bunch of rabbits. The Wife Googled it and said it is a warren. OK! A warren of rabbits, headed up by their notorious leader, named ‘Bugs Bunny’, set up residence in the airport’s parking lots to use the warmth the parked cars offered them for protection. They soon became hungry and in the search for food discovered that in 2002 the automakers started using electrical wiring harnesses and spark plug wires with soybean based protective coatings.
.Unsuspecting travelers now often return to find out their cars won’t start and they may be faced with a few dollars to a few thousand dollars worth of wiring damage. Auto insurance usually does not cover the damage. Bugs and his warren mates are being attacked by building better fence exclusion, setting up perches for hawks and eagles in the vicinity to squat on and the government is trapping and killing them somehow to help keep them off the active airport runways. Remember all the tricks and devices the guy in North Fort Meyers tried and installed to discourage Vubba Vulture and his wrecking crew? They liked rubber around windshields and wiper blades. I don’t know if they are soybean based or not. When the rabbits get their fill of soybean based wire coating, they revert back to what they are best known for.
I rambled on and was going to suggest that my relatives may consider making a few bucks by trapping and shipping pythons to Denver from Florida to eliminate Bugs and his clan like they did in the ‘Glades’. But then I recalled that pythons don’t like cold weather and would beat a path back to Florida or most likely succumb to the Colorado deep freeze. Oh well, thanks for putting up with my ‘Ramblin’. Oh by the way, Dennis and Joanna have a limo service pick them up and take them to and from the airport and aren’t affected anyway. I don’t know about Andy and Ro, sorry.
May I regress please? Thank you!
RESULTS
After the challenge started another sponsor came forward with money to offer a $750 second prize in each category.
Pros
Longest- 11’ 1”- $1000.00 Blake Russ
2nd place- 10’ 7”- $1000.00 Ruben Ramirez (see below)
3rd place- 10’ 4”- $750.00 Ruben Ramirez
Most- 18- $1500.00 Ruben Ramirez
2nd place- 5- $750.00 Blake Russ
A faux pas by a UF Professor, my-o- my, resulted in the longest snake award in the pro division being presented to the wrong person. The snakes had to be killed and processed for science to be entered in the competition by the rules, with exceptions. Prior to the kill and entry of what turned out to be the winning longest snake, the powers to be decided to implant a tracking transmitter into the beast and release it back into the wild. The absent minded professor measured and weighed the winner but forgot to tell the recorder what was going on. So there really is an absent minded professor.
A total of three male pythons were implanted and released for tracking during the mating season. Scientists are hoping to locate, capture and kill many females the implanted males locate.
As a result of all the confusion, the FWC awarded the real winner with a $1000.00 prize and didn’t ask Mr. Ramirez to return his award. One undocumented report indicated Mr. Ramirez, who has a snake removal business in Miami, had one partner and they donated their $3250.00 winnings to a fund for a young girl with cancer and no insurance. Good for them, if true!
Amateurs
Longest-14’ 3”- $1000.00 Paul Shannon
2nd place- 14’ 2.3”- $750.00 Rigoberto Figuero
Hey Rene Tucson, that is no joke, check it out! I could not let that one pass without comment! I have known a couple of guys whose name ended with ‘berto’, but never one starting with ‘Rigo’! Did Wetto get the meat yet?
Most- 6- $1500.00 Brian Barrows
2nd place- 5- $750.00 Bill Booth
Most winners had one or more members on his team.
I’m exhausted! But that’s just me! Bye!!!!
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